Part II Italian Adventures



Exercise
I'm usually against exercising while on vacation but knowing that I would be eating pasta, gelato, pizza, gelato, and drinking loads of wine I threw in the sports bra just in case. This morning I was up at 7 again and decided to go for a jog in the park. I had intended on renting a bike in Siena and getting around the country side. But the rolling hills of Tuscany are actually quite steep us close, and my driver from the horse back ride is out there on the road somewhere and I'm sure he's killed before. So jogging it is. I've seen about 3 joggers since I got here and figured I might be the only one out, but was pleased to find a few others making the loop around the park. I figured they were tourists as well until one woman stopped for a smoke break. SO Italian. I'm pretty sure that wasn't water in her bottle either.
Shop THerapy
Picked up a new bag in Siena and took my Habitat For Humanity tote to a vintage shop for some trading. I thought my vintage bag would be the perfect size but turns out the things weighs a couple pounds completely empty. Every pound counts at this point. Plus I wanted a new bag and rarely do you have an excuse as full proof as your own good spinal health. Oh and a new bathing suit. Which I'm pretty sure makes my bum look nice, which in turn makes me happy and keeps the blues away. Physical and mental health is soaring.
Scouting
Can someone enlighten me? What's with the grown men and women dressed like boy scouts? I don't like it, one little bit. It's like seeing grown woman grocery shopping in cartoon flannel pajamas and bunny slippers. Creepsville. I will say that I have asked them to watch my bag while I visit the ladies room. Everyone knows they aren't allowed to steal. Scouts honor. I'm curious about the badges though. If you were forging rivers and making fire as a child, what is required in adult scouts? I think a good badge would be to raise a wild human baby.
Assisi
Picturesque. Sits atop a steep hill overlooking grapes, villas, etc... Don't think I'm weird but it's so damn perfect it feels like an amusement park wants you to feel. I keep thinking I will round the corner to find a teenager dressed like an Indian selling cotton candy. Unfortunately my duffel got me kicked out of heaven today... officially. Assisi is a highly spiritual/religious town and the nuns and monks are running amok up in here. I made a 4 hour train and bus ride with 3 layovers and was starving by the time I got here. Exiting the bus behind 20 or so Man-Scouts I decided to go the other direction. Cause who wants to follow those idiots? The other way turned out to be a series of passages designed to keep people out. In particular idiot travelers who fail to realize the navigational potential of a pack of Man-Scouts! I met them half an hour later. I was still dragging my duffel, they were clicking their heels packless.
My guide book recommended about 8 hotels and the first three I tried were closed or not answering. Did I happen to come on holiday? Good Friday? What the hell? LoLo needs a room and stat! I began thinking everyone was at mass but then I was hussled by a gang of nuns and figured they wouldn't be caught dead. So I just gave up. Threw down my bags and let go of a hearty "Fuckin hell, god damn mother fucking hotels." Felt great, just what I needed. What I didn't need was another pack of nuns rounding the corner just in time to hear the tail end of my rant. They laughed amongst themselves and kept going, damning me to hell on their way. Bitches.